Sharon Collon [00:00:00]:
Do you ever get to the end of the year and think, what the hell was that? I don't even know what I did this year. I know I was very busy, I was doing lots of things, but I didn't achieve the things that I wanted to do. And I find that this process really breaks it down and helps us step it out. Welcome to the ADHD Families Podcast. I'm your host Sharon Collon, an award winning credentialed ADHD coach and consultant and mama and wife to a very ADHD family. I am seriously obsessed with making life easier for people with ADHD and those that support my business. The Functional Family provides life changing support and strategies for adhd. I particularly love anything that saves time, decreases conflict and creates space for fun.
Sharon Collon [00:00:44]:
Do you want a life with your beautiful family that is more functional, fun and full of joy? Let's explore together the wonderful and sometimes wacky world of family life with ADHD in the mix. Welcome to another episode of the ADHD Families Podcast. I'm your host Sharon Collon and I am so excited that you are here. Today we have a really special episode. I'm going to guide you through a bit of a wrap up of 2024 and help you set your targets or your focuses for 2025. Now I'm not going to lie, there was a time in my life when anyone in December said to me, we're going to set our targets for 2025. I'd be like, stuff you. I'm too busy for this right now.
Sharon Collon [00:01:32]:
But I actually feel differently about it now. I know that where we focus our attention and what we celebrate and document gets repeated. And I see so much value in not only setting targets and working towards those targets as personally in the family, as a family, but also for celebrating and marking the things that we did achieve in 2024. Like what? In the year that has gone past. And when we document, I love looking back through the previous years when I've done the same procedure and just reminding myself of all the great things that we have achieved as a family for that year. And I've got really crappy memories. So like if I don't write it down, I don't remember. Like people can ask me, how was your year? And I'd be like, oh yeah, it was all right.
Sharon Collon [00:02:20]:
I don't know because I don't remember these things. But when I document it and remind myself of it and look through old photos and remind myself of all the achievement, all the growth that we have, we move into that gain mindset rather than the gain gap, mindset, the gap in the game, that old, that old book. So we're going to do this today and I'm going to guide you through it and it is fun. Grab a cup of tea. Let's go through it together. I've got some resources for you. It's only going to take a little bit of time and you're going to have this beautiful thing to look back on and a renewed sense of calm and focus for 2025. Let's do it.
Sharon Collon [00:02:57]:
So first up, let's have a chat about why. Why we review the year that has been and what lessons are to be learned in that. It feels like in December we have this energy of just got to get through it. Like get through the big day, get through to Christmas, like doing all the things right, this real rushing energy. And when we take a beat to actually think, okay, what has this year been like? What's working? What's not working? What do we want more of? What do we want less of? We can actually be a little bit more intentional with our time and plans for the next year. So we. I want you to slow down just for a minute to think about not thinking about your to do list and all the crazy things that you have to do, but actually think about what has worked and not worked for you this year. So we're moving from when we, when we do this because life happens so fast.
Sharon Collon [00:03:50]:
Life is happening and we often get stuck in this reactive state, especially when we have kids that have extra needs and we have these busy lives. We can get stuck in this reactive state where we're just reacting to things and we're kind of like putting out spot fires everywhere. But I want to slow it down for a minute to actually think about how we want to use our time, how we want to use our energy, how we want to use our money, how we want to use our resources to ensure that it's actually in line with our values and our goals for life. Because otherwise we can just get caught up in everyone else's without realizing whether it's important for us or not. So when we're doing this, we're living intentionally and we're really making sure that we're aligning it with our values and approaching it from a proactive state rather than a reactive state and making a better plan for next year. Of course. And also I'm going to give you this little checklist at the end where we go through my start the year right checklist. Now, these are the things that I always do at the end of every year to set myself up for the following year, to make sure that I get the best appointment times for my family, that I have everything booked in, that I have down times.
Sharon Collon [00:05:00]:
I cram a lot into a year. But I also have the fatal flaw of thinking that I can do a lot more than I actually can in any given space of time. I'm a time optimist and I find with adhd, for those of you that have time awareness challenges, people tend to flick between being a time optimist and a time pessimist. A time optimist is someone who's like, yeah, I can absolutely get to the shop, do my Christmas shopping, get back, bake that cake, all within an hour, like, it's fine, I got this. And then the time pessimist is like, oh, no, that is going to take six, like a whole day. I don't have time. I can't get started on that yet. I'll have to allocate a whole day to that.
Sharon Collon [00:05:41]:
And they, they're pessimistic about the amount of stuff that they can get done. I definitely err on the side of being a time optimist. I like to think that I can get all sorts of things done. I commit to all sorts of projects for my business, for the family, and this process of actually mapping it out and checking in with my values allows me to just check in with myself to see if is it actually realistic and feasible that I can get these things done in a year and do these things that are on my list actually matter? Do they matter? But are they in line with my family values? Are they in line with what works for me? And are these goals actually important to me? Do you ever get to the end of the year and think, what the hell was that? I don't even know what I did this year. I know I was very busy, I was doing lots of things, but I didn't achieve the things that I wanted to do. And I find that this process really breaks it down and helps us step it out so that we can review our targets, review what we're working on, review what's working, what's not working for the year ahead. So the first thing I do is I look at the highlights and the lowlights for the year. So for 2024, and I'd love you to do this with me just on a piece of paper, if you can jot down what were your highlights for the year? What were the things that, you know that went well for you? I know some things that went well, for me personally was I smashed through a big fear of mine.
Sharon Collon [00:07:14]:
So my goal for 2024 was to get over my fear of in person public speaking. Now, it's a really, really strange fear because I do webinars regularly for 2,000 people. I'm always doing speaking. I speak on a podcast, I speak to clients every day. I do webinars, I do masterclasses, I do lots and lots of spe speaking. But in person hits different for me, for some reason, I didn't even realize that this was a fear. Like, in my younger days, I used to sing in a band and I was always up on stage in front of people. But I had this memory of going to up in front of a concert where I was singing and going to the microphone and I wasn't super confident with the song, to be honest.
Sharon Collon [00:08:00]:
I hadn't practiced enough. And the music started behind me, the band started behind me and everyone was looking at me. And I went to the microphone and I grabbed the microphone. Now, this is not a dream, although it sounds like a dream. This has actually happened in real life. And I blanked. I couldn't remember what song we were singing. I couldn't remember the first line.
Sharon Collon [00:08:20]:
So I missed the intro and I walked over to the bass player and I was like, tell me the first line of the song. And the look that he gave me was one of utter disgust and disappointment because I didn't have the first line of the song and he told me the line and I was went back and I muddled through. Definitely wasn't my best performance, but I got through it. But that little moment where all I heard was that flatlining beep as I realized I didn't have anything to say, like nothing was going to come out of my mouth was really horrifying. And I think that that was the moment that my fear of in person public speaking really came about. And now I've been able to bluff my way through it because I do most of my stuff online and that to me is fine. And because my audience, you guys are so friend, and I know my members so well that when I'm speaking to them and doing things online, I'm in my own environment. I know that the audience is so beautiful and I don't really sweat it that much.
Sharon Collon [00:09:23]:
But it came to a head because I released a book in 2023. It was a collaboration called Women Leading the Way. And for that we did like a bit of a press tour and we had to talk a little bit about our chapter. Now, of course, My chapter is all about ADHD and my family's and, and what, you know, how the functional family was created. And they passed me the microphone and I almost had that moment again where I like blanked. Now I knew this book inside and out, right? I knew what my family story, but I was freaking out and I, my hands were shaking so much that I had to, I had to cross my legs. I would have looked very strange. I crossed my legs and I rest the microphone on the top of my cross leg, crossed leg, so it would just stabilize the microphone a little bit.
Sharon Collon [00:10:16]:
And I was bright red. I got off the stage and I was actually googling menopause because I was like, is this menopause through menopause? But no, it was actually fear of public speaking. That's what was happening. So that had resurfaced again and that drew my attention. It's like, you know, when you listen, you know, you can listen to the universe, it'll give you those little whispers or it will smack you in the face. And I'm one of those people that it has to, to smack in the face for me to pay attention to it. So I then realized that that was something that I had to work on. So I had the goal for 2024 to get over my fear of in person public speaking.
Sharon Collon [00:10:51]:
So I've been going to Toastmasters every two weeks. I have been doing lots of practice. I've been saying yes, I've been going into schools, I've been going into workplaces and talking about adhd. And it was the pinnacle of it was going and keynote keynoting the ADHD conference and doing a 40 minute presentation on that. And me being ever the opt was like, oh, that's in October. By October I'll have this fear sorted. I will be able to remember my speech, I'll be able to deliver it. You know, I'm doing the work now.
Sharon Collon [00:11:23]:
I'm going to have that sorted. I can tell you right now. By October, I could not remember my speech. I had it perfectly planned out. I practiced it a thousand times. But my brain is not the type of brain that can remember a 40 minute keynote. And so I now know that about myself. So I still had to have notes in front of me, which is a bit of a shame.
Sharon Collon [00:11:40]:
But you know what? I was really happy with how it went and all that practice and really acknowledging progress, not perfection, like living in that gain instead of living in the gap. I could have gone in there and thought about all the things that I couldn't do. But I went in there and I gave it my best shot, and I really was happy with how it went in the end. So that was definitely one of the highlights. Of course, getting to meet so many beautiful humans in 2024. I have the best clients in the whole world. I fall still, to this day, fall a little bit in love with every single family that I get to work with, because they are always. There's just something about people and families with ADHD that I just enjoy.
Sharon Collon [00:12:20]:
Like, I love how their brain works. I love the energy that they bring to sessions. And, I mean, there's a reason why I fell in love with my husband, who is super hyperactive adhd. I'm fascinated by people with ADHD and love their energy. And even when times are tough, I think that they always show that beautiful resilience and kindness. And I think that it's just a beautiful energy to be around. And so definitely the highlights. There's a few little highlights.
Sharon Collon [00:12:48]:
I'm wondering if you can write down your highlights for 2024. What got you excited, what went well? What little moments did you have that lit you up and made the year a great year? And then flip it. Then we want to flip it. What are the lowlights? What are some things that were a bit challenging in 2024? I know a lot of people faced financial challenges in 2024. Bloody interest rates, you know, and lots of things were happening that people found challenging in 2024. You know, we had some family health stuff going on. We had, you know, a bit of a financial crush going on, and just lots of little things. So I like to document those there, too, because there's often lessons behind those and especially being on of predictable problems.
Sharon Collon [00:13:39]:
You guys know I love a predictable problem, right? Like, if something is happening year after year, then that is a sign that we need to put some framework around it and plan for it and support ourselves better around that thing. So if we're consistently rich in burnout, I know this is a really interesting thing to say in December, because if December, usually people like, it's got to get to the end. Like burnout, Burnout City. You know, if we're consistently reaching burnout by mid December, then we want to have some plans around that and, you know, lower demands in December and use that lesson as a predictable problem to plan better for the next year. So how do you decide on what goals you're going to tackle in 2025? Now, I have a really interesting way of working out which areas of life need my attention. Otherwise, I think you can do anything, but not everything, right? So if we go for like a thousand goals, we're likely to not hit any of them because there's just too many. And then we're too busy and we've got too much, too much intensity for that. So how I know where to put my attention is I do this little wheel.
Sharon Collon [00:14:41]:
So there's eight areas of life, and I give each area a score out of 10. So one being that it needs a lot of attention, it's not going very well. Ten means I'm nailing it, it's fine. So usually I look at the areas that are below about a 6 and I know that they need my attention. If it's above that and you might feel differently about that, if it's got a high score, then I kind of just leave it alone. I think that's, that's something I'm doing okay with. It doesn't need any framework around it. So the first area that I'd love you to score is personal growth.
Sharon Collon [00:15:14]:
So how do you feel that that is going? Give yourself a score out of 1 to 10, then do the same for health, then do the same for friends. Relationships, Recreation, spirituality, career and finance. And from that, I look at the ones with the lowest score and they're the ones that I want to draw my attention to for 2025. If they've already got high scores, then I don't need to do anything. We're already tracking okay for those ones. So personal growth might mean, you know, a new skill that you're developing. It might mean something that, you know, might be in line with your goals from last year. Health, how you feel within yourself.
Sharon Collon [00:16:01]:
Burnout, any health issues. Friends. How often are you getting to catch up with your friends? Do you have a few close friends? You know, is that something that you want to work on for 2025? Relationships. What's the quality of your relationships? Recreation, you know, do we need some new hobbies and interests, or are we just driving people to their hobbies and interests? Spirituality, you know, if you are a spiritual person or you have a religion or faith, you know, how are you going with that? Career, how is your career track? Finance, Is that an area that needs your attention in 2025? And that's how I work out how I'm going to target my goals for 2025. Now, there is a bit of a bit of hoo ha about smart goals. And smart goals tend to not be that great for adhd, if I'm honest. We need to be understand people with ADHD need to understand that conceptual piece. They really need to go into what it's going to look like, understand how it's all going to fit in and really vis that end result.
Sharon Collon [00:17:05]:
So they need to understand the why. The why needs to be very, very strong for adhd. So I encourage people to look at the whoop goal system, which is woop. And if you Google that, you'll come up with the whoop goal system. The next one is I look at more or less. So thinking about the year, what do you want more of and what do you want less of? So an example of that is for 2025, I feel like I want more sleep. I know that for sure. I definitely need to prioritize sleep in 2025 and I want less fatigue in 2005.
Sharon Collon [00:17:45]:
So what do you want less of? So write that down as well. It's always interesting to look back on those answers too. I wanted to let you know that in January I'm going to be doing free parent training. This is the best. It's one of the things that I enjoy the most. You're going to get a free work, we're going to have these beautiful workbooks, we're going to have show up live prizes. And it's all centered around having an easier home life when you've got ADHD in the mix. So it's for you if you're parenting kids with adhd, if you have ADHD yourself, if you're a carer of kids with adhd, teachers will get something out of it as well.
Sharon Collon [00:18:20]:
Make sure you come along to that free training and take advantage of these resources that I'm going to be giving away at the end of January 2025, where to sign up to that is the functional family.com steps. So if you go there or go to our website and there's some buttons to click to that as well. So go and have a look at steps and sign up to that free training. Take advantage of that offer. There's three different times to choose from and it's also recorded so you can watch at your leisure and make sure that you take advantage of that. And then I've got a little free download for you today too. I want to step you through what I do at the end of each year to start the next year. Right? Because I recognize that when I don't do these things, it causes little hiccups and it causes me unnecessary stress.
Sharon Collon [00:19:14]:
So I set all these things up before the end of the year so that or in the school holiday period would be A good time too, so that you have these things in your calendar. Because what we mark and block out in our calendar has a much better chance of happening. And we want to reserve it before our calendar fills up with all the other things. So the first thing that we do in the start the year, write checklist. And I've got this for you@the functionalfamily.com checklist so you can download this so you don't have to worry about writing it all down. We've got it there for you can just download it, print it, and tick it off and get that dopamine hit. As you tick off this beautiful checklist, the first thing I want you to do is put any important data dates into your family calendar. So whatever that looks like for you.
Sharon Collon [00:20:00]:
We use Google Calendar. If you've got a wall calendar, get all those dates in there. Birthdays, family holidays, school holidays. Those are the things that we want to have written down in that calendar and blocked out if needed. The next thing we want to do is we want to book everyone's hair appointments for the whole year. This is particularly important if you have, you know, colored hair or whatever, or haircuts or you have a specific, specific barber that you like to see. Whatever. Book it in for the year.
Sharon Collon [00:20:28]:
If you know it's every eight weeks that you go or every three months, book it in now, let's just get the whole year done. And what the advantage is for booking all those appointments in now is you get the time that you. That works best for you. So if you have kids that, you know, struggle with transitions or perhaps have a high sensory, you know, sensory sensitivities, get them in in the morning or get them in at the time of day that's suitable. We get those appointments, we get them in early and then of course, put them on the calendar, put little reminders in there. So block out all hair appointments, block out all dentist appointments. We know we have to do six monthly checkups. Let's get them in.
Sharon Collon [00:21:06]:
Let's get them at the time of the day that suits your family. Let's get them in at all. Maybe all the family in one hit. Whatever works for you. Let's get that. And reserve the time that works best for your family and work commitment. And then I like to book in something for me, so I find facials really relaxing. Massages can hurt a little bit for me because of the psoriatic arthritis, even though they're beneficial.
Sharon Collon [00:21:30]:
But I tend to find facials really relaxing. And so I make sure I book those in every eight weeks and I enter them into the calendar. Then we go for the doctor's appointments. Let's get the pediatrician's appointments in there, let's get any specialists, any doctor checkups and let's enter them into the calendar. Then we go for babysitting. Who do you need to take all the kids to these appointments or do you need to schedule some babysitting for those facial ones or the hair ones or whatever you're going to be doing that you enjoy? Let's get that babysitting in there. Now. Let's see if we can book those things in advance because it's really helpful if we can have our babysitters lined up for those things, whether it be paid or through a family relative.
Sharon Collon [00:22:12]:
Let's give them some notice for those things. The next thing, the second last thing I do is I audit school supplies and uniforms now. So I go through the school uniforms before they get put away. Before we forget about it. I just check it out is why. Why are they all ripping the pockets off their white shirts? I don't know. So this gives me an opportunity to give them to my mum who sews for her to be able to try and fix them or stain treat them because they're always covered in like a thousand paints and stuff like that. This is our opportunity just to do of an assessment.
Sharon Collon [00:22:47]:
Is it still the same size? Do we need to buy more? Making that list there, is it stain treated? Does it need to be repaired? Let's. Let's get all those things. Are they labeled? Let's get those things done now. So wash and prep those. Wash and prep your school bags. School bags actually wash really well in the washing machine. I didn't think they would but they do. So emptying those things out, emptying out lunch boxes, those sorts of things.
Sharon Collon [00:23:12]:
They checking school size, school shoes size. Do they need cleaning or do they actually need replacing? Let's get that stuff underway. Now you might not necessarily want to buy them, but let's get an idea of whether that needs to be bought right now or whether it's okay to run it for another year and you can avoid some of that back to school craziness. You know that all that back to school rushing energy that comes about in January and then I do the same for school supplies. So I have a look through the boys pencil cases. Let's check it out. What do we need to keep? What's so gross that I need to throw out and what can I replace so I can do those things now while school's still in my mind. And of course you might be waiting for your school list, and that's okay, but at least you'll know what you have already.
Sharon Collon [00:23:58]:
And so when you go through that list, you will have a okay pencil case to know what you need to update and buy. It's super gross, but you know, sometimes you get to January and you open the school bag and you've still got like that old rotten apple in there or something like that. So we're just avoiding that. We're workshopping that as a predictable problem in this Start the Year Right checklist. So go through and have a look at that and check off those items so you can feel super calm and super collected as you go into 2025. Set your targets. Make sure you register for the free training. Get that checklist underway.
Sharon Collon [00:24:36]:
And before we go and we round up 2020, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being a listener of this beautiful podcast. It is the absolute joy of my life to be able to do what I do and support so many families. And I love this podcast. It's given me the platform to be able to talk to so many incredible people. I love getting your feedback about it and connecting with you in this way. It is such a honor that I get to be in this position and to be here to serve you and support your gorgeous family. So go and have a beautiful holiday. Work through those steps that we talk through and so you can set up 2025 in a way that works for you.
Sharon Collon [00:25:23]:
Let's make 2025 your best year ever. It's not important what everyone else is doing. Let's make it your best year ever. Let's enjoy what your family is doing. Let's look at what your family's are. You know what? What do you want to do to make you happy? What does your family want to do to allow it to shine? Because it we only have this one short time on this earth, one life and I want to make sure that we are living it. Survival Mode is a place that we are supposed to visit from time to time, but we are not supposed to live there. And so anything that I can do to support you so you can have a happy, joyful, functional, fun life with your gorgeous family with adhd.
Sharon Collon [00:26:11]:
I hope you have a beautiful holiday period and you'll hear from me again soon. Thank you for listening to this episode of the ADHD Families Podcast. If you loved it, please share it on your socials. I want this to start a conversation about adhd. If you want to make this mum do a little happy dance. Please leave a review on itunes. If you would like to know more about what we do, check out thefunctionalfamily.com I truly hope that you enjoyed this podcast and you use it to create a wonderful, effective, joyful life with your beautiful children.
