Jenifer Breaux [00:00:00]:
Yeah, so we have that joke too. We need a vacation from our vacation. So what we do is we develop a holiday routine because we thrive in routines as well. So I try to just do one event a day with a day break. So in the morning we're doing something, we're gonna do lunch together. I really feel like meals are important and then in the afternoon it's their chill time. So develop whatever is your rhythm. I'm not saying my rhythm is your rhythm, but holiday routine is important.
Sharon Collon [00:00:32]:
Welcome to the ADHD Families Podcast. I'm your host, Sharon Collin, an award winning credentialed ADHD coach and consultant and mama and wife to a very ADHD family. I am seriously obsessed with making life easier for people with ADHD and those that support them. My business, the Functional Family, provides life changing support and strategies for adhd. I particularly love anything that saves time, decreases conflict and creates space for fun. Do you want a life with your beautiful family that is more functional, fun and full of joy? Let's explore together the wonderful and sometimes wacky world of family life with ADHD in the mix. Welcome to another episode of the ADHD Families Podcast. I am your host, Sharon Collin, an ADHD coach, consultant and parenting expert.
Sharon Collon [00:01:27]:
And I am so happy that you are here today. We are talking about travel. Now this can be a really intense topic. I find that families go split into two camps. There's the people who are like, yes, love holidays like our family does really well. And then there's families like mine that do not cope very well when we take them out of all standard environment that has all our coping mechanisms in there and all our systems built in. And even though holidays sound like a good idea, often like it's just a lot and I need a holiday to get over the holiday. So to talk about how to have a successful holiday with your beautiful family with adhd, I have brought in a specialist, the incredible Jenifer Beau.
Sharon Collon [00:02:15]:
Now, she is a travel agent who specializes in this area. She has two neurodivergent kids herself and she helps families travel when they have kids with extra needs. So whether that be asd, adhd, she customizes their travel experience and journey to support their kids with extra needs and support the family to ensure that everyone has a great time. And she is a character and I can't wait for you to hear all the amazing tips she has for us in today's episode. Let's get to it. Welcome Jennifer. I'm so excited for our chat today.
Jenifer Breaux [00:02:51]:
I am so thankful to be here. I know we're A little bit of a time difference. But listen, for us travelers, there's no such thing because we need to explore the world.
Sharon Collon [00:03:03]:
I am, I am so keen for your practical tools today because I'm about to go on a holiday with my family. And I'm keen to get some tips from you because this is your Eric. But before I get too excited, can you tell me a little bit about. And tell our listeners a little bit about who you are and what you do.
Jenifer Breaux [00:03:23]:
So my name is Jenifer Breaux and I retired from the army after almost three decades. I couldn't make it that last year, so 29 years. And in the process, I adopted two of my kids. International adoptions. And the first one, our youngest one, we didn't know he had any neurodivergent issues until around three years old, although I think the signs were there earlier. So he has autism, add, anxiety and depression. And our youngest, we did know he had autism and he was nonverbal at the time, although he talks a lot now. He has severe adhd.
Jenifer Breaux [00:04:05]:
He has seizure disorder and OCD and anxiety. And we are a family that loves to travel. So we travel probably three to four times a year with the family and one or two trips with the just us, the parental units, because we need our downtime.
Sharon Collon [00:04:22]:
Definitely. Okay, so I have. This episode is going to all be about travel and some practical tools because I think that sometimes, and you know, my family included, travel just feels a little bit hard now. It can go either way. Either school holidays for families. They either love school holidays, have a bit of a break, take lower some of the demands of school, and then they can go on trips, or maybe it feels like hard work, you don't get the break anymore. You lose your routine structure. And we see a lot of dysregulation.
Sharon Collon [00:04:55]:
And then. So for some of those families that find that time challenging. School, you know, planning a family vacation can feel like a step too far or maybe on the idea of it sounds good. But then when you get there, everyone's having a horrible time and everyone's yelling at each other and there's lots of dysregulation. And I am, I think I have a little bit of a trauma response for being in the car with my three boys. Like, I'm not joking. We've had so many car trips where they are just absolutely fist fighting in the back. And my husband's like, we can't do this.
Sharon Collon [00:05:30]:
We can't even make it to Cronulla beach, which is like 5 minutes away. Can't even make it to Cronulla. Why? How can we expect to go to the Gold Coast? You know, like, it's a tumultuous time. So I am really keen to hear. Perhaps you can share your top tips for planning a trip when you have children with adhd.
Jenifer Breaux [00:05:50]:
So, yes, I thought autism was hard, but ADHD I think is harder because there are all of the sensory inputs. So it's not just smells, might be distracting vision if they're working on something, the sounds. So I think that ADHD is really hard. And I didn't even know it was a spectrum till we started working with our son's autism therapist. And she's like, you know, it's a spectrum. I'm like, I know nothing about adhd. So I had to get on my thinking cap and do some research. But I would even break down a holiday, a vacation, into different types of vacations, because how you respond to a car is going to be different from a resort, a plane, or a cruise.
Jenifer Breaux [00:06:43]:
So we need to break that down even into smaller components because what you're doing on each is going to be tackled just a little bit differently. So for in your example, you're talking about the card we're gonna want to have Now. I don't know if you ever went camping as a child. I did a lot of camping. We didn't have a lot. So camping was the number one go to. And so even in my larger family, we would do family reunions. We did a lot of songs, so we even do that.
Jenifer Breaux [00:07:14]:
Even just going down 20 minutes to the ballpark. We'll do a backseat boogie. So we'll take turns. That's what we call it. Okay. Or we'll pass the mic, but it's not really a microphone. You'll take the first verse. Or I'll just say, okay, Jacob, it's your turn.
Jenifer Breaux [00:07:30]:
Okay. No, it's your turn. They may not know the lyrics, but they kind of fumble around or will allow each person to take the choose the radio station for a turn. Because not everybody agrees on the radio station. And my husband is a talk radio station. He loves talk radio. Listen, nobody's having that. We don't even want that in our car.
Jenifer Breaux [00:07:52]:
We're not having that. We don't care about the weather. We don't care about the news or the cow report. We're not in for that. So we take turns listening. We think about those old school games like someone stole the cookie from the cookie jar. Who may not, you know, so that don't do the bottles of beer that can last forever. Our kids can't even find the different license plates because they go by too fast.
Jenifer Breaux [00:08:16]:
With autism, that's not going to work. Or the color game like I Spy, I spy green. Now that took our little one a little bit a long time to catch up on because he's like, I spy a green tree. So you know, you got to kind of break into that. So that's great. Think about old school games in the car. Now this is where I'm going to say I'm a tech. I don't like people being on their tech all day.
Jenifer Breaux [00:08:41]:
I'm not that. But you could do songs. You could break it up with the car games. You could. We have this car bingo game that we play. So you could bring that along. Break up your day. If it's five hours, stop in a couple hours to stretch.
Jenifer Breaux [00:09:00]:
Now, my kids can't track a ball because we used to like maybe play the ball and kick for a little bit, but all we did was chase the ball. So if that's not your family and tracking, maybe just play tag or run around or who can get to the tree the fastest. Obviously identify the tree and which tree it is, but get out of the car. Break it up. I know what makes your day longer and you just want to get there, but do that kind of thing. Or if they're into smells, buy a scratch and sniff something and try to guess what the smell is. Break things up into that and play to what they enjoy. My eldest, he loves sniffing different things.
Jenifer Breaux [00:09:40]:
I can't smell, but they could guess something. Play to what they is distracting for them. Make that the thing that gets them into and distracted. And soon, as soon as you know it, 30 minutes have gone by. And then maybe incorporate the text. Now I have teenagers, so they're not coloring anymore when they were younger. If you have younger kids, make a bag. We have fidgets, but that's not going to work in the car.
Jenifer Breaux [00:10:05]:
That might work at your rest stop or if you stop for breakfast, something like that would work hard. Candies work. Peppermints are soothing, so that helps work. If you take a little. A bag of candies. Hard candies. I know that helps maybe break up or recenter some folks. So that's what I would say for a land trip.
Jenifer Breaux [00:10:29]:
Same with once you get to where you're going. So let's take the hotel or the resort that you're going to. I know we love the pool and we love looking at the beach, but that's maybe too much noise. So when you make Your reservation ask to be put towards the back of the resort. Why? Less noise. You don't have the pool party, you don't have the phone party noise and people making noise. Some resorts do fireworks at night. Is that what you really want to hear? That's distracting.
Jenifer Breaux [00:11:03]:
It's a lot of noise. They have pool games a lot of times, resorts, I don't know in Australia, but a lot of times resorts have a white night or some kind of dancing celebration on the beach or a specialty dinner on the beach. That's a lot of noise. Do you want that at 10 o'clock at night, 8 o'clock at night, when the kids are just hanging out because they needed a break from what's going on at the hotel or the resort? That's a reason why you need to have a room at the back away from where the center of activities are happening. And I wouldn't even say back because sometimes a lot of the restaurants are towards the back of the resort. So wherever that is, that's off the main traffic. That's where you're going to want to request your room. Now, some rooms do have less artwork, some don't.
Jenifer Breaux [00:11:58]:
Some do. If they have it, maybe you could just take it down and hide it behind your couch. So again, less distracting, less activity and busyness in your room. So those are two things that are going on your drive and your resort, your hotel.
Sharon Collon [00:12:17]:
It's interesting that you said that. It's like kind of like honoring how your child what their sensory needs are and playing into that. And I know, I just want to preface this by saying, like, food is so important because like that halt approach. Like, are they hungry, angry, lonely, tired? Like that can be one of the biggest things to ask yourself. Like sometimes our most intense family moments have just been because everyone's just a little bit hungry. So feeding them constantly, it's important. I like that you said about the peppermint too, right?
Jenifer Breaux [00:12:50]:
And we always have a snack bucket in our car. And it's so stupid because they just ate, right? They literally just ate. And one of my kids is sensory averse. I have to cut tags out everywhere, otherwise he'll come home from school if he sees a little hole. That's my severe ADHD kid. Half of his shirt is gone by the time he comes home from school. I can't tell you how many shirts I've thrown away because half of it's gone. But my other son, it's 100 degrees in Tampa right now and he has a blanket on.
Jenifer Breaux [00:13:25]:
He's holding a Pillow. He's sensory seeking a lot of times when he was dancing, when he was younger, we'll attend weddings or whatever, he'll throw himself on the floor because he wants those inputs. He needs those inputs. So in the car, I'll put their pillows and their blankets. But the youngest one, he throws them in the back right away, I'm like, oh, my God, I just packed this car. But the youngest, the eldest one, he wants that blanket on him. He wants the pillow on him. He wants to build a little fort around him.
Jenifer Breaux [00:13:53]:
So, again, having the different candies that they like, different foods that they like. So my. My buck. My little food bucket is really not tiny. It's a little container that I keep that's probably about this big, I don't know, a foot long, a foot and a half long. And then what does my husband want? Because he wants something. I'm like, oh, my gosh, you. You all are, too.
Jenifer Breaux [00:14:14]:
And he's not ADHD or add. I don't know what he is, but I got this fit all the needs. And I'm like, okay, now mom's in her little cocoon. Y'all are happy. Let me throw some food at you. And y'all are happy.
Sharon Collon [00:14:26]:
Why hasn't someone developed that petition that you could put between the kids in the back of the car seat? Like, seriously, like, we can put men on the moon, but we can't separate kids in the car? Like, what. What is going on here? Like, that someone needs to develop that. Okay, so tell me what some common challenges are that parents face and how we can prepare for them. What do people talk to you about when they're traveling with their kids with adhd?
Jenifer Breaux [00:14:52]:
So I think one of the common challenges is that, I mean, I know this is adhd, but a lot of kids also have anxiety, so maybe that centers around ADHD and anxiety. But what to expect. They're nervous, right? What am I supposed to expect when I'm going there? And maybe that's through the mums, because I talk to a lot of mums. It's not the dads that are calling me. It's the mums that are arranging the vacations, right? So maybe it's them. What to expect. What about the food? What about what's going to happen on day two? Is there going to be something for them? Well, what does that look like? Do we have to do that? So what does all of that look like? So there's two things that you can do for the families and the parents for the children. We talk about A social story.
Jenifer Breaux [00:15:40]:
And I don't know if you've heard of that, we've used that in the autism world. But that also helps with anxiety and that helps with ADHD because you also leave space. So what it is is it tells you about the whole entire vacation, but as a story versus an itinerary. So the itinerary, a very detailed one, is for the parents. So on day one, this is when you're going to arrive. Your transfer is going to be here, he's going to be holding a sign. This is where you're going to look for them. So there's no misunderstanding about what's going to happen.
Jenifer Breaux [00:16:16]:
So for you as a parent or as a mom, or maybe you're on a girl's weekend, so you're going to have that. Or as a couple, you have a very detailed itinerary of what's going to happen. The travel time is going to be 45 minutes approximately. Because you know, in big cities, especially like London, you never know that traffic coming out of there and all the circles and what that looks like. So any big city, New York, it could be an hour, it could be an hour and a half, you never know. But it gives you an approximate time and how many minutes and how many miles. And this is maybe your driver's name or what uniform to look for there in a purple shirt. But for the kids, a social story is where it's at.
Jenifer Breaux [00:16:57]:
So you'll have the calendar. Maybe they don't understand a calendar, but they can count the number of days that are on it. This is how you're going to go. You're either going to go by a plane or you're going to go by a car. Who's going with you? Okay, it's just your parents or grandma's going with you and you can include a picture of the kids with grandma. Okay, you go to the next page. You're packing your suitcase. You're going to take your swim shirt, shorts, you're going to take some socks.
Jenifer Breaux [00:17:27]:
You're going to take, for little kids, a bear. Now my kids didn't real. My youngest one didn't take stuffed animals. He was in an orphanage, they didn't have those things. But he does, does take his Legos. My eldest son, he takes the same two books, so he's not taking those things. Comfort item is his books. And it's the same two worn out books.
Jenifer Breaux [00:17:48]:
But he takes it and he feels comfortable there. Then you leave a couple lines for them to fill in, or you fill in for them and write that form because some kids can't write. So it's reading like a story. Now when do you present this story is up to you because my youngest I can't tell him to a day or two before or he'll perseverate on it. But my eldest I can tell a week before because he knows and he understands time. So depending on your ADHD child he, he could keep going back to it and read it and fill it in, maybe even color it. Maybe you put a picture in there to color of the cruise ship that you're going on or the resort has palm trees or you know, koalas. I love a koala.
Jenifer Breaux [00:18:34]:
So I've been following this story of a rescue place in a rescue habitat in Australia and they help koalas get back out into the environment. So I love it. So I have that on my brain today. So that reads like a story. And so they know what to expect. Hopefully it reduces some of the anxiety. I'm not going to say all but for that's what I find. I had a family that traveled to Peru and while they may not have adhd, they do have anxiety.
Jenifer Breaux [00:19:05]:
So I find with folks that are neurodivergent they usually have an additional diagnosis. So adhd, they might have some anxiety. They don't know what to expect or food. Oh, I know that they like pineapples so I'm going to make sure I have pineapple that I put in there. Oh and on the second day we're going to go on a pineapple plantation and we're going to taste some fresh pineapples or something like that. And you can make sure that if you're doing the vacation planning you could do some of that research for them.
Sharon Collon [00:19:38]:
I love those suggestions and I really like that you're using that story concept to build anticipation. Now we know with the ADHD brain that anticipation is a great, you know, like I talk about open closed brain a lot and it opens the brain right. Like they love anticipation, novelty, you know, it's an interest based brain model. So love that and it's helped help building that anticipation but also alleviating the anxiety by showing them what's happening. Because my kids have a lot of questions like what's for dinner? You know, what, what are we going, what are we going to eat? When are we doing this? What day are we doing that? Like you know they've got, they've got a lot of questions about that. So it's just easing up that anxious brain and giving them that story or that Kind of loose, flexible agenda. Now, I want to discuss now over scheduling because we know that for sometimes as parents, especially if we are a super ambitious ADHD mom, the tendency can be, and I am saying this with a bit of a smile on my face for the more and more concept, like, let's pack it all in there. Sometimes I feel like with my family that we do so much in holidays that I get home from the holiday and feel like I need a holiday from the holiday because my husband's like, he's very hyperactive presentation.
Sharon Collon [00:20:53]:
He's like, and now we've got to do this. And now we're going for a swim and now we're doing this. And he just does not sit still for a minute. Can you tell me or speak to over scheduling or doing too much on holidays?
Jenifer Breaux [00:21:06]:
Yeah, so we have that joke too. We need a vacation from our vacation. So we. What we do is we develop a holiday routine because we thrive in routines as well. So by the second day, the kids kind of get a flow of our holiday routine. And again with the sensory. We love the beach, but our youngest does not. He is sensory averse.
Jenifer Breaux [00:21:32]:
Like I've mentioned, he doesn't want to go in the sand. When we try to go to the beach here. Our beach is about 45 minutes away. He'll get in the car and I'm like, okay, let's go to the beach. He's like, I'm done. I did that all done. So whereas our eldest, that is really his happy place. So I schedule one day for the beach and I'm like, it's a family event.
Jenifer Breaux [00:21:55]:
We're all going to go as a family. But, Noah, what do you want to do? We're going to do bowling. So I try to just do one event a day with a day break. So do our holiday routine. In the morning, we're going to do our event. Whether it's the pool, whether it's kayaking. That's the day. Then a day off.
Jenifer Breaux [00:22:15]:
So maybe an event. An event, a recoup day. So in the morning we're doing something. We're going to do lunch together. I really feel like meals are important. And then in the afternoon, it's their chill time. They can watch tv, they can watch. They love their text.
Jenifer Breaux [00:22:31]:
So, okay, you're going to have some tech in the afternoon. But that's our schedule. So that's our holiday routine. In the morning, you can watch cartoons, you get to sleep. They don't sleep in, but they get to sleep in seven days a week. My little ADHD, or he is up at 7 6. Between 6:30 and 7. Seven days a week.
Jenifer Breaux [00:22:51]:
I tell you, I'm not kidding. So there's no break for us. But now he can turn on the TV and he kind of relaxes and he likes it. But. So seven days a week. But then we go to breakfast, we're on with our swimsuits and we're out to the pool. We're out doing the kayaking or the beach or whatever it is in the afternoon. They get their time.
Jenifer Breaux [00:23:12]:
We're all in our little time. Then we go on to either bowling because bowling, I like to. Wherever it is. Maybe we do that in the morning and then go to lunch or right after lunch and then it's our personal time. So develop whatever is your rhythm. I'm not saying my rhythm is your rhythm, but holiday routine is important. One, it sets the expectations for our kids. They know what to expect.
Jenifer Breaux [00:23:37]:
They know that they're going on holiday. Right. You've just presented your social story, your itinerary, but you need to have that routine too, because it sets up their expectations. They're already out of whack because they don't have that school routine. So set up a root holiday routine too. I'm not trying to be so rigid. I just said, well, maybe we'll do bowling before lunch or right after lunch, but then the afternoon is their time so they know what to expect. It's not so rigid.
Jenifer Breaux [00:24:03]:
Yes. The morning we're going to do these things. And this time block, you're going to do your things.
Sharon Collon [00:24:07]:
Yep. I love it that you're setting that out. Yeah. And I also love like putting that on a visual somewhere because a lot of our kids are very visual, visual processes. So we want to like have it up somewhere so they can see it so that it's a comfort to know. One thing that I've learned from traveling with my family is I'm not talking overseas here because I. There's not no amount of money that would make me take my kids on a long. At this age.
Sharon Collon [00:24:34]:
At this age, maybe one day. One day I will. But one of the things that I've noted that fits us up or sets us up for success is having a place that has kitchen facilities so I don't have to buy every meal out. Having a place for the dishwasher because I'm not going on holidays to wash everyone's dishes and washing machine and dryer because for some reason we just like my. Because my son's very sensory. He likes to wear the same clothes over and over and over again, which means I can wash them and.
Jenifer Breaux [00:25:05]:
Well, they feel a certain way. Yeah, they feel a certain way. Yeah.
Sharon Collon [00:25:09]:
Yeah. So those things have been really good. So let's talk about overstimulation and sensory overload during travel because we're doing lots of really exciting things. Like we are going to go to dreams, dream world, which is like Disneyland. Right. And so it's going to be sensorily stimulating. Now the kids will love it. My kids are sensory seekers so they will be all over it.
Sharon Collon [00:25:31]:
But then it tips to a point of overstimulation.
Jenifer Breaux [00:25:35]:
Right.
Sharon Collon [00:25:36]:
Where we're just in hyperarousal. Can you tell us a little bit about what you recommend for handling sensory overload or overstimulation?
Jenifer Breaux [00:25:46]:
Yeah, so we. Yeah, so we've done universal over here, which is kind of like a. Only it's Harry Potter and Dr. Seuss and we've done. For God sakes. I don't know, I don't ever want to do this. But we've done Disney, Disney Lander World. I forget which one is in Tampa.
Jenifer Breaux [00:26:04]:
That's how much I don't like it. But we have done it with the kids. Now I don't know your kids body rhythm but we have gone early in the morning and we've committed to like four or five hours because we don't want to hit that. So know your kids body rhythm. I always say go to the parks early so that you are not with a lot of crowds if they're getting to that point. Find some shade, if you can find some water, find, take. You're allowed to take usually a small, a small little bag in that can be searched. So take the candies or take the food that helps them.
Jenifer Breaux [00:26:41]:
I would just say take that bag in cold water, find a quiet spot. Usually they have a calming station. I would say more and more places are coming online for neurodivergent kids. I don't know about that. That particular park. A lot of lines will have a lot of places now have lines for neurodivergent kids.
Sharon Collon [00:27:07]:
Oh, it's know that Disneyland does.
Jenifer Breaux [00:27:11]:
So do the research ahead of time. They say autism but I wish they would say neurodivergent because ADHD falls into that category for sure. So they really need to change the term to neurodivergent. So Disneyland does have that. So you can skip the line so you're not in those long lines. Skip the line fast pass. Invest in those things so that you're not waiting in those lines. You'll still have some lines, but you can skip some of those lines.
Jenifer Breaux [00:27:42]:
They have apps now where you can look at the line at the speed of the lines. Especially like for fast pass and those more popular lines. I always recommend playing old school games too. Like who can stand on your leg the longest? There goes the I spy again. The thumb. More odds and evens. Let's see. Odds and evens.
Jenifer Breaux [00:28:06]:
Rock, paper scissors, Thumb war. I created this game the other day. Hey, let's play a sword game with our two fingers and do that songs. And then people start playing around you too with that. So it's so funny because then it becomes infectious and they start playing those same games with you or around you. Anyway, so look into apps for the places that you're going to look into. Neurodivergent autism because I think ADHD really is a spectrum like autism and they have lines for the neurodivergent if not neurodivergent autism. But I would sign them up for that.
Jenifer Breaux [00:28:46]:
So there's particular lines. Now you're saying, well, what if they've reached that peak? But I would try to avoid that. Try to get into the parks early, have a plan for not reaching that peak. We always go back early and play in the pool so that they're one, cooling down. Two away from people and making your own fun. So don't just try to do everything. I know it's tempting because these parks are so ridiculously expensive. You're talking a couple hundred dollars a day.
Jenifer Breaux [00:29:18]:
It's crazy. And then you have the hotel and that's crazy. We don't do park hopping. We're not doing more than one park. So don't spend your money on that. Don't go back, just don't do it. Get the most you can out of that. Do five, six rides.
Jenifer Breaux [00:29:34]:
Make an event with staying on property because you get the transportation. Enjoy the pool at the resort. Make that a thing. Now what if happens if the meltdown because we have had that. Try to bring them away from people, let them have their moment. Cold water, your snacks are going to help. Try to do calm voice. Always a calm voice.
Jenifer Breaux [00:30:01]:
Don't keep talking to them because that's going to keep ratcheting it up. Right? Don't talk, just let them work it out. We always still do it. We don't like to say a time out because that gets a bad rap. We say time out but hey, let's just have a cooling down period. Don't engage even with our 16 year old. Well fine. I'm just never Going to come back here, try again.
Jenifer Breaux [00:30:23]:
I'll wait for you. Just take a moment. But especially now, I don't. It's so hot. I don't know why anybody would go to Disney World. It's so hot.
Sharon Collon [00:30:34]:
Look, I think that you've given some really great tools in there. Now let's talk about accommodation now. So I did talk a little bit about some of the family specific are things that I look for in accommodation. But let's talk about types of accommodation that you've noticed have benefits for kids with ADHD or ADHD friendly.
Jenifer Breaux [00:30:57]:
Yeah. So it can be great and it can be challenging. So we've already talked about where to stay on property. I like to find clubs but they can be overstimulating. So kids clubs. I found one. We just went to this resort. It had a teens club.
Jenifer Breaux [00:31:14]:
But the downside was as it was just opening, I was there to check out the property to see would it be worth it to go. I like to find activities that are included. So this one was fabulous because it had kayaking and it had paddle boarding included. But what was the bonus was it wasn't out in the ocean. It had the largest man made lagoon. So you didn't have to worry about your kids falling in the ocean and then you had to be athletic to try to help them. It built my son's confidence and I was able to do kayaking with him, taught him. I don't, I'm not a kayaker.
Jenifer Breaux [00:31:52]:
I'm not trying to profess. I am. But I showed him how to turn, turn his kayak around so he could go further out, turn it around himself. And then he was kayaking a lot and it wears them out. I love that too. So they were sleeping, swimming a lot. Handstands. We didn't go in the kids pool where there's a lot of, a lot of hustle and bustle and kids and thrashing around so they could not get distracted.
Jenifer Breaux [00:32:19]:
They could do their handstands all day. They could have swimming contests between each other and do the kaying and paddle boarding. So look for activities that are already built into the hotels or resorts that you're going to. I mean we're already having to pay a lot for the resorts or I like to go to. Listen, I like to be spoiled. We work all day, right. And we're mums and we're the taxi drivers and we're the chefs and we're a lot of the cleaners and so let's be pampered a little bit. So I like to be pampered a lot.
Jenifer Breaux [00:32:56]:
So they'll bring me my drink. You know, you just put your hand out and they put your drink in your hand kind of thing. But so some of the resorts will include that. So look for those opportunities. And then if they've never done it, they can try it and you're not out any money and a trip away from your resort. Right. It's right there at the resort and you can watch them and they give them a little class. So it's not you trying to figure it out on top, like, how do I work this equipment? Do I stand? Crap, I just fell in the water and then I'm trying to get up again.
Jenifer Breaux [00:33:29]:
It's them and it builds their confidence as well. And then my little one, he didn't want to try it, but next time I could try it with him and then put him inside. And then he doesn't even have to do anything if he doesn't want to. I could just do it all.
Sharon Collon [00:33:44]:
I love that you said, you know, find things where. Find accommodation where there's activities to do on site. Because what we're doing there is lessening the amount of transitions, because especially for those of us that have a little bit of struggle when we're getting our kids in and out of the car or in and out of activities, if you can walk to somewhere and, you know, like, be in nature to get to the activity, that's just so much easier. In Australia, we have these big four holiday parks, and even though they can be a lot, you know, in terms of if you go in school holidays, and that's something that we probably should touch on here about, like, timings of travel, we tend to do our travel outside of school holidays because lines, people, you know, sensory overwhelm. But, you know, having less transitions for activities is really, really clever because all of those things you're paying cash for transition, like brain cash, I'm talking about executive function cash. So if you've got things on site that you can go and do that are engaging, like, even better.
Jenifer Breaux [00:34:42]:
Yeah, my little one, he will decide today, no, I'm not going to do that. And you're like, the taxi's here. No, I'm not going. I don't want to. And so then you have to get his mind up mentally. Then my husband decides, well, then I'll just stay with him. I'm like, I'm trying to do a family activity here. So then next time I'm like, okay, I want to back that up 30 minutes to get him and Then that particular day, he's like, fine, I'm good.
Jenifer Breaux [00:35:12]:
And then you're sitting in the lobby for 30 minutes. I'm like, we could have been relaxing for 30 minutes. So it's, you never know what day he's going to work, what wake up on and have a thorn in his side or not. So yeah, it's. And we do use timers for everything. Okay, five minute countdown, three minutes, we're going to go. We talk about the day ahead of time, we do all of those things. And I like, I want to revisit what you said before about the visual schedule because you're absolutely right.
Jenifer Breaux [00:35:42]:
A visual. You can get these small little whiteboards and maybe we just throw that in our backpack and put a five on it. Okay, this is, you got five minutes. But he likes to use a timer and a talking timer on his. He's a tech, tech, tech, tech. For him, I'm like, okay, or I'll put it on my iPad. You can visually see it. Five minutes.
Jenifer Breaux [00:36:03]:
So if people don't want to pack an extra thing, you could always do, do that.
Sharon Collon [00:36:09]:
So I love that. So if you were going to give three tips for parents to take away to try as they're planning their next family holiday, what would those three tips be?
Jenifer Breaux [00:36:25]:
I always like if they have never traveled. I say start and this is how I would like you to start. Find a hotel that's about an hour away. Why I say an hour versus ten minutes is you could easily go back home, but an hour, you might think about it. So find a hotel that's about an hour away that has a pool. Make sure you make your reservation confirm that it does have a pool. And I don't know how many people in your family, maybe four or three. So have a bedroom for yourself and maybe a pull out sofa for your kiddos.
Jenifer Breaux [00:37:02]:
And then make your reservation. Make sure you get maybe a float. I don't know what's your, what's your store that has floaties or equipments? We have Walmarts and Targets.
Sharon Collon [00:37:14]:
Yeah, we got Targets, we've got Kmart, we've got a few different things that have those cheap floaties. Yeah.
Jenifer Breaux [00:37:20]:
Okay, so floaties or we buy Amazon. So something like that. Something that's easy like buy a 99 cent blow up ball and everybody has their swim shorts. Bring a little boat, blow up ball, check into the hotel, put all your gear in your hotel and go directly to the pool. Play for a couple hours, have your ball, play Marco Polo, swim, have races, maybe not splashing contest Depending on how sensory. Or people don't like to have water on their face. But you can play with your ball. Come back up to the room and order.
Jenifer Breaux [00:37:58]:
We like pizza here. We like Fun Food Fridays and things like that. But so you're not cooking unless there's some dietary issues. Bring those with you so that you're not cooking while you're there. So order out so you're not cooking. Bring your drinks with you, whatever kids like. Or get some milkshakes or something to make it special. Bring your dessert with you.
Jenifer Breaux [00:38:18]:
We like candy, whatever your thing is your go to. So have your takeout then. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Bring some bags of pop, pop popcorn or maybe some candy. And watch a movie on the TV. Everybody get in their PJs and sit on the couch together or the floor and watch a movie together. Make memories together. Eating your popcorn, drinking your pop or your milkshakes all together.
Jenifer Breaux [00:38:44]:
Go to bed now. Here in the US we always have breakfast included. So make sure your hotel has breakfast included. The next morning. Over breakfast, talk about your afternoon. The day before. What did your kids like? What is their best memory that they had? Was it splashing in the pool? Was it watching a movie together? Was it eating pizza and talking about the toppings that you had? That was doing it. That was going on a trip together.
Jenifer Breaux [00:39:17]:
Now I want you to keep repeating that, maybe going an hour and a half this time. Keep doing that until everybody feels comfortable. The parents feel comfortable. You don't have any, I don't want to say issues, but any challenges. There's. My first road trip was not pretty. My son screamed for an hour and a half until he went to sleep. Then we had to get up the next morning and do it all again.
Jenifer Breaux [00:39:43]:
So it's not, it may not be pretty. He didn't know what to expect. There were different smells, the bedding was scratchy for him. He had never been in a hotel. So it. Well, I take that back. We adopted him. He had been in a hotel then, but it was just different.
Jenifer Breaux [00:39:59]:
Different smells, different expectations. So you got it. We kept repeating that until he became comfortable. It wasn't about us, it's about your children or you, if you have adhd, until you are comfortable and they are comfortable, then you can expand and go to a resort or do a two or three day cruise, whatever that is that your dream is and their dream is. So that's my suggestion to you, is to go out and travel to make memories. And that's a way to do it relatively inexpensive. To make memories different ways, just on a one night.
Sharon Collon [00:40:40]:
I love that. And it's nice, slow exposure in a nice, nice, in a nice slow way.
Jenifer Breaux [00:40:46]:
In an environment that you can kind of control.
Sharon Collon [00:40:49]:
Let's talk about money just quickly, because I have this memory. I've got to tell you a little story. We went to SeaWorld as a, as kids and my dad, we were teenagers at the time and my dad gave us, he got us all to put out our hand. And I love this story. It shows how different me and my brothers were. So he got us all to put out our hand and he put $10 in each hand. Then he did another $10 in each hand and then it got to a hundred dollars each, right? Which is the most amount of money I had ever seen at that age. And what he said is, he said that you guys have free access through this resort to SeaWorld.
Sharon Collon [00:41:27]:
You can go crazy. This is your spending money for the whole trip. Now we will provide all your meals. If you come back to the room, like for lunches, we're not eating out, but you can have stuff in the room. Like they had baked beans and tins of stuff and toast and everything. You can have that or you can spend your money. But this money is yours for the whole trip. You can decide whatever you want to do with it for the whole trip.
Sharon Collon [00:41:49]:
And so my, my eldest brother, who was quite conservative with money, spent nothing. He came back to the meal, came back for every single meal and ate in the hotel room and perhaps even made some money at some point, like maybe sold something to my brother and made money. My middle brother, the middle aged brother, he blew his money in the first day. Like Sora, like, I don't know, paintball or jet skiing or whatever. Like gone first day and then was like in poverty for the rest of the holiday. And I was somewhere in between, like budgeted but like kept my money. And it made, it makes me laugh because each child has a different relationship with money. And it can be really tricky for parents because they go into the gift shops and they go into, you know, you might be walking past shops and the kids want everything, right? Like, they're like, I want that, I want that, I want that.
Sharon Collon [00:42:38]:
And it can be to the stage where you, you know, it's causing meltdown, causing friction and parents are spending a fortune on stuff that like, like rubbish, basically. So do you have any tips around supporting our kids to have a good time but also not cause that friction or challenge when it comes to spending money?
Jenifer Breaux [00:42:58]:
Yeah, it's hard because some kids don't know the value of what money is. So that's my youngest, he doesn't understand. And, you know, we had a hard time. So when we had one child, we would go to the gift shop and buy that T shirt, right? As soon as second child came around, we're like, no, we're going to Walmart getting your T shirts or a picture frame at Walmart. We, we had to change mentally of how we even did that, because it did change. So this is what we do for our kids. We're like your parents, but we wait till maybe the second or third day and say, you have this amount of money and that's all you have, $20. We should probably up it because of inflation here.
Jenifer Breaux [00:43:43]:
Inflation has increased. We're still on like the dollar bread, low loaf of bread that we had when we were kids. It was 75 cents. And that was like in 1975. And it's 2025 now. So I think you have to understand your kids, because even though our boys are 14 and 16, our youngest is mentally delayed. So he does not. He.
Jenifer Breaux [00:44:08]:
He knows like a quarter, but he doesn't really understand what a quarter is. So we will just ask him. You have a choice. And this can be overwhelming too, right? With ADHD children, you go into the store and there is a galore. I mean, it's heaven when you go in there. Think about, for us, we want a new dress. Hey, well, I like this one, this one, and this one. So you really even have to narrow down their choices because it.
Jenifer Breaux [00:44:36]:
They can't make a decision. So you kind of understand what they like. I went on a Disney cruise with my youngest and he just adores Mickey Mouse. So I said, you can have this or you can have this. Which do you choose between these two items? So even let's not even talk about money. Let's talk about choices. And knowing your child, you. You might even just come down to choice A or choice B in the budget that, you know, you want to have them spent, because just giving them $20, it would never have worked for him.
Jenifer Breaux [00:45:10]:
Now, for my eldest, yes, we do that. But we hold the money until a certain day. Because even though he understands money and he understands budget, he cannot manage money. And we came to that realization a couple of years ago, so we know that he just can't. So we'll hold the money, let him look for the first couple days, and then give him his money.
Sharon Collon [00:45:36]:
I love that. Now, if people at home want to find you or follow along some of your More helpful tips. Can you tell our listeners where to find you?
Jenifer Breaux [00:45:47]:
Yeah. Oh, thank you for asking. Yes. So I am on Facebook and I am on Instagram. I guess everybody's on that. And it's I am Jenifer Breaux. So that is my social media. That's where you'll find and my website.
Jenifer Breaux [00:46:05]:
So I have blogs, I have specific blogs that help the neurodivergent. So the last week of every month I have had to travel to New York or Best Buy, best cruise ports. I think that's been some latest ones. I have one coming out I think this week, so I forget. I just write them in a batch and then post them up there once a week. So that's where you can find it. And I'm starting to do YouTube, so I'll start putting some YouTube up there too. I am Jenifer Bro.
Sharon Collon [00:46:35]:
Excellent. And I'm just going to say to the listeners, I'm going to put a link to this in the show notes, but the spelling of bro is B R E A U S. Oh, yeah.
Jenifer Breaux [00:46:44]:
And Jenifer with one N. Yes.
Sharon Collon [00:46:46]:
Yeah. Oh, thank you so much for your time today, Jennifer. It's been so lovely having you on the podcast and hopefully we've alleviated. Well, you've probably alleviated and my stories have probably added to people's anxiety about traveling with their beautiful kids and dating here today.
Jenifer Breaux [00:47:06]:
Thank you so much, Sharon. I really appreciate it.
Sharon Collon [00:47:09]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the ADHD Families Podcast. If you loved it, please share it on your socials. I want this to start a conversation about adhd. If you want to make this mum do a little happy dance, please leave a review on itunes. If you would like to know more about what we do, check out thefunctionalfamily.com I truly hope that you enjoyed this podcast and you use it to create a wonderful, effective, joyful life with your beautiful children.
