00;00;00;00 - 00;00;25;28
Unknown
Welcome to another episode of the ADHD Families Podcast. Today I have the incredible Tina, who is the director of of Diverse Accountants and has the Instagram handle, the ADHD Accountant, which is how I found her. I'm so excited to be talking to her today. She is an accountant and a money coach for people with ADHD, and she helps them with their strategies to suit the ADHD.
00;00;25;29 - 00;00;55;16
Unknown
Brian Welcome. Tina. Hello. I'm Sharon Collins and you are listening to the ADHD Families Podcast. I am a mom of three beautiful boys with ADHD. I love being a mom, but my home life was absolute chaos and the stress of daily life had a terrible effect on my health. My husband had so many horror filled stories of growing up with ADHD that I decided I wanted to change the experience for my little boys.
00;00;55;18 - 00;01;24;07
Unknown
So I got to work and I systematically changed and streamlined my family's lives to suit the ADHD brain. And now that I have my family on track, I want to help yours. Do you want a life with your beautiful kids that is more functional, fun and full of joy? Let's explore together the wonderful and sometimes wacky world of raising kids with ADHD.
00;01;24;10 - 00;01;45;04
Unknown
Hi. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be talking to you today. And I know you've come into our membership before and done a masterclass for us, which I absolutely loved. And so I wanted to get you on the podcast to reach a broader audience and explain a little bit about what you do. Can you tell us a little bit about what you do?
00;01;45;06 - 00;02;11;06
Unknown
I can. Sorry. As you mentioned, I am an accountant and a money coach, so I have my own accounting practice here in Brisbane, but I do work Australia wide with everyone. So my main client base is ADHD or other neurodivergent and I just love providing a safe space with tax, which a lot of people just, you know, really struggle to handle.
00;02;11;09 - 00;02;52;18
Unknown
I'm laughing because I know myself included. Yeah, I'm black. I can provide a good, safe space for people who just need that extra support. And very similarly with the money coaching. So on that side of things, I help other ADHD is again, you know, you might have some of that type of neurodivergent that's fine to really manage their money, help them understand money and help them to be able to come up with a way to manage it that's going to suit their brain, their lifestyle, because it's very different to, you know, having a neurotypical brain and everything is just, you know, flowy and all good.
00;02;52;21 - 00;03;12;20
Unknown
The way that we manage our finances can be very different. So it's good to just have someone in your corner to help you with that. And that's what I do. Oh, I love that so much. Now tell me you did touch on it there. But what would be some common struggles that people would with ADHD would have around finance?
00;03;12;22 - 00;03;39;16
Unknown
Sorry, the main common ones are impulsive spending, which everyone on the planet probably does struggle with this from time to time, except with having ADHD. That can happen all the time to the to the detriment of our finances and money. You know, getting into consumer debt, a lot of money on credit cards, not having enough money for other things that we actually may need.
00;03;39;19 - 00;04;08;09
Unknown
And that sort of goes hand in hand with the budgeting as well. So not only are we sort of, you know, impulsively spending a lot more, then that just makes it harder for us to budget and stick to a budget because, you know, we tend to feel a lot of shame and guilt when we do overspend. And if we don't understand how budget works or out money or anything like that, it can make it a little more a lot more difficult to actually get a handle on our budget.
00;04;08;11 - 00;04;30;19
Unknown
So they're the main things that I see in regards to money and all the back end stuff with the ADHD. As I said, the impulses, the urges, things like that, that can just sort of throw us a little bit off track. Sorry. When I speak to clients and even people just on Instagram and other social media, they're probably the biggest things that people struggle with, with ADHD and money.
00;04;30;22 - 00;04;49;26
Unknown
Yes. Yeah, it's really great to know that. Or even it's not something that people talk about a lot, you know? So it's really great that you're bringing a bit of an awareness to this space because I don't know. I don't know whether it's just Australians, but we tend to not talk about money or how we're managing our finances and things, and a lot of us need help with that.
00;04;49;26 - 00;05;23;04
Unknown
And so it's great that they can seek some support through you and your services. Now I would love to know a little bit about your journey with ADHD and how that came about. Yeah, so I it was actually my son who got diagnosed with ADHD and as autistic, a few other things as well, but they're the two main things and it, it kind of threw me a little bit because when they said he was autistic, I was like, Yeah, I can, I can kind of say that.
00;05;23;06 - 00;05;38;13
Unknown
But when they said he was ADHD, I'm like, How old are you? Like my the picture that I had in my brain, which I think is what a lot of people have in their brain, is he wasn't this disruptive person that was, you know, up on the desks and interrupting the teacher at school and all that kind of stuff.
00;05;38;16 - 00;05;55;20
Unknown
And they did say he was inattentive presentation. I was like, oh, at me like, oh, you know, So I went on a bit of a journey to help him. So I wanted to educate myself so I could help him, help me understand it, to help him with strategies and helping on his day to day and things like that.
00;05;55;22 - 00;06;19;27
Unknown
And what I came across was basically my life on the Internet. I was reading all this stuff about ADHD and listening to all these experts, and it just it just spelt out my life from, you know, as far back as I can remember to now all my struggles, my social struggles, my struggles at school, anxiety, all that kind of stuff.
00;06;20;00 - 00;07;02;02
Unknown
And I was like this, this can't be happening. Like, I don't even have ADHD. So I did. The more recent I listen to podcast and I just I couldn't believe it. I joined a couple of Facebook groups and one of them was a Facebook group specific for women with ADHD. And I remember as I went into that, I got approved and I went in and the first two posts that I read, like I could have written myself, I was I could not believe what I was reading, that there were other people out there like me when I had come nearly 40 years of my life thinking that I'm lazy and I just will never be
00;07;02;02 - 00;07;24;15
Unknown
organized. And I'm, you know, I'm not smart and I got my uni degree by accident and all this kind of stuff. I just I really struggled to accept that there was a reasoning in that reasoning was ADHD. But you know, and I think a lot of people with ADHD do go through that when they first get diagnosed, they're like, Oh, is it really?
00;07;24;15 - 00;07;50;06
Unknown
Or am I just like, you know, freaking the, the assessment process, which, you know, we can all agree is actually quite extensive. Like, you know, if they assess you for ADHD, you've most likely got it. So yeah, that's, that's my journey and it yeah it came with a lot of self reflecting and you know, a whole lot of adjustments as well.
00;07;50;06 - 00;08;13;06
Unknown
Like I've my life when I was, you know, assessed and first diagnosed to now is completely different because I just had to just change up a lot of things to be able to say yes. So what I now know is my ADHD brain, Oh, I love that. Tell me about some of the things that you changed, because so often, you know, in my world with coaching is helping people to make those adjustments.
00;08;13;06 - 00;08;40;18
Unknown
And we always say, like, you don't need to try harder. You've just got to try differently. And so those little adjustments can mean the world to someone. So I'm curious to give me to for you to give me some examples of what worked for you. Yep. So I left my job and I became self-employed because I found the you know, I go to this office at these times for this many days per week, really quite boring, really quite restrictive.
00;08;40;18 - 00;09;03;08
Unknown
And if my brain doesn't work, it's not working. I can't go to an office job or whatever it is at 9:00 in the morning and just switch on my brain, stop working. It just doesn't work that way. So I took the leap to figure out what I can do as a self-employed person and sort of set up, you know, everything that way.
00;09;03;08 - 00;09;22;17
Unknown
And that way I can, you know, I work from home, Sorry if I'm having like a really low energy day. I can just, you know, just check on some clothes and go to my desk and work, especially if I don't have any meetings where people are going to see my face. I'll just have like my you know, I have a dinar or something on me just so I can relax.
00;09;22;17 - 00;09;52;15
Unknown
And actually, you know, that helps my brain get into sort of black married. So that's one of the things and a few of the other things is and this can probably relate to a lot of things, not just work or I'll sort of explain the way of exercise. Like we all know that exercise is very good for our brain and our idea of managing our ADHD, but I don't put a lot of pressure on what type of exercise that I do, which is something that I did a lot back before I got assessed.
00;09;52;15 - 00;10;06;23
Unknown
So it was always like, Oh, I need to do this kind of exercise because it's good for this and I need to, you know, do whatever. Whereas now it's like, actually I just need to move my body. And again, with the low energy days, which a lot of us experience with ADHD, our energy is very up and down.
00;10;06;25 - 00;10;21;20
Unknown
I, I play into that. So if I'm having a really low day, I'll just go for a walk around the block with my dog or something. Whereas if I've got more energy that might look like a workout or my deck or, you know, a longer walk or something like that, but it's very like, how am I feeling today?
00;10;21;20 - 00;10;52;10
Unknown
What do I need today as opposed to will, I need to do this, this and this? Because that's what someone else has told me to do or something like that. So I really sort of understanding that my low days are a fact of life for me and I need to sort of give myself some love and adjustments on those days and, you know, on the high days and I can do more so and, you know, I've got other supports, like I see a counselor every couple of weeks.
00;10;52;12 - 00;11;28;17
Unknown
For me, I take medication as well, which is really helped. So yeah, it's it's just a lot of like self-love and self-reflect and just being okay with the person that I am as opposed to who society thinks that I should be. Yeah. You know, that's the number one thing. Like as I do these interviews and make all these beautiful connections with all these amazing people that have ADHD, it's they describe that once they get the diagnosis, they start treating themselves with a bit of what I would label Grace like, not beating themselves up about things.
00;11;28;17 - 00;11;46;07
Unknown
And as a result, things actually get easier because you're not sort of punishing yourself or shaming yourself all the time, the things that are kind of out of your control. And, you know, as you mentioned there, you just wait for the energy to come back around again like everything is in the little, little, you know, goes in circles.
00;11;46;14 - 00;12;12;07
Unknown
Yeah. And you can able to show yourself some grace those days that it's that it's not quite there for you, which I love that I love that. I think if that's what comes out of the diagnostic process, then how cool is that? Yeah, it's been helpful for me at least. So yeah. So tell me a little bit about let's delve into some money strategies and I have and so does my husband.
00;12;12;08 - 00;12;37;00
Unknown
Terrible. A terrible relationship with money. Right? And so I'm really curious to see what you have to say here. He definitely falls into the impulsive spending bracket. I'm talking we went went into an auction like a house auction under auction conditions with no finance. He registers the bidder. He's up the front bidding on an auction under auction conditions with no finance.
00;12;37;03 - 00;13;02;29
Unknown
And I'm ringing his mum dobbing on him in the background, having a heart attack. We don't have the money that he's getting, Like. Absolutely not. But that's what we're talking about. Like, we're talking about extreme and or bad things. Auction then goes into buyer's remorse. The bullet. Yeah. Luckily for him he's actually quite lucky and tends to be like the things with that impulse it's spending it actually works out for him usually.
00;13;03;02 - 00;13;27;20
Unknown
But I'm curious to know for the people listening at home that would identify with some of those examples, perhaps they're a little bit extreme, but generally these things play out. You know, what are some really good based strategies or things that they can consider when they're thinking about money or their relationship with money. I like what you said there about the relationship with money, because I think a lot of people skip past that.
00;13;27;20 - 00;13;50;22
Unknown
They're like, what? What strategies can it implement? What tools can I implement? Like what can I do to stop myself impulsively spending? And yes, there are tools and strategies absolutely, that we can implement, but it's also our relationship with money, our money mindset, our story, how we've grown up around money, what our money beliefs are, all that kind of stuff.
00;13;50;24 - 00;14;13;06
Unknown
Then that plays into the impulse aid and the other ADHD things around money as well. So, you know, let's take impulsivity, for example, as ADHD is, we are impulsive by nature. So for someone to sit back and go, we'll just just stop impulsively spending. Just stop spending. It doesn't work for us. Right? Like it's naturally in our brain.
00;14;13;06 - 00;14;30;22
Unknown
It's this urge that we just we cannot or we struggle to I should rather say we struggle to, you know, slow down and actually stop so we don't do the thing. And then you've got, you know, like the shiny new like what do people call it, shiny object syndrome, where you just like, oh my gosh, this is new.
00;14;30;22 - 00;14;49;08
Unknown
And then couple that with the urge and you just want to go spend, spend, spend. So whilst there's tools that we can implement, you know, like making sure that we're trying, you know, to implement like a rule that you wait 24 hours before you buy the thing or you wait, you know, a few days, whatever it may be.
00;14;49;08 - 00;15;07;01
Unknown
I try to get people to start with at least 24 hours and then it can sort of grow from there. That's one tool that really, really does help ADHD is it helps a lot of people. And, you know, it's one of those things just like any tool and strategy, you've it it's it's a muscle that you need to strengthen.
00;15;07;07 - 00;15;23;10
Unknown
So it's not like you're going to implement this today and you're going to be all good. You know, you might implement it and do well and then, you know, it doesn't work so well. So the next time that you try to implement it and the key thing is not to go well, it didn't work. Sorry, then it's not going to work again.
00;15;23;11 - 00;15;42;10
Unknown
It will work again. You just need to strengthen it. And again, it comes back to having that grace. Like just because you didn't you know, it didn't work for you this time. That's okay. Like, you know, we get so hard on ourselves as well where we're just like, well, I start up again and then we go into this, you know, negative mindset spiral.
00;15;42;13 - 00;16;02;00
Unknown
Sorry, That's where it sort of couples in with, you know, the mindset stuff and the emotions and things like that, that our emotions can drive so many actions that we have, you know, when we are feeling excited, like your husband with the auction, he was probably feeling really excited and like, yeah, let's do this. Couple the excitement with the ADHD urge and that's what you get.
00;16;02;03 - 00;16;29;24
Unknown
Same thing as if we if you couple the impulsivity with maybe of how to really crappy day at work and you come home, you just sit on your forehead and scroll and then suddenly all this stuff ends up in your cart that you purchase on an online shop or something like that. So what I try to teach people is that yes, it's the external stuff, like the tools and strategies, but we need to couple that with, you know, getting better emotionally around money and our mindset and getting you beliefs around money.
00;16;29;24 - 00;16;48;25
Unknown
A lot of our beliefs we've had since we were children that, you know, our pet we saw our parents do with money and that played into our beliefs. Neuroplasticity is amazing. Like even with ADHD, we can reprogram our brain and our beliefs around money. It takes time. You might need some help with it, but you can absolutely do it.
00;16;49;03 - 00;17;19;15
Unknown
I mean, I come from like I used to when I, I tell people I was a chronic compulsive spender to the point where if I had money like coins in my car or in my purse or something, like I had to spend it, I couldn't leave it there. I just had to spend. So I'm not sitting here as someone who, you know, And I think if a lot of people don't think that because I am an accountant and the money coach, I haven't always been good with money and sometimes I still impulsively spend like I still do it because I have ADHD.
00;17;19;15 - 00;17;38;03
Unknown
But that's okay. It doesn't have to be that you completely stop if you do it every now and then, you know, so be it. If you're, you know, not doing it most of the time, that's what you want. That's what you that's the level you want to try to get to rather than stopping completely because for a lot of us, it's just not realistic.
00;17;38;05 - 00;18;00;22
Unknown
Oh, I love that so much. So talking about your strategy of waiting the 24 hours. So I go to the shop, we see I'm just going to clarify on that strategy just for people at home that, you know, so we go to the shop, we see like, I don't know, I'm not into fashion, but like I see a handbag that we really want and we go, okay, I really want that.
00;18;00;22 - 00;18;16;16
Unknown
I'm going to go get it. But then we think, okay, no, we've got a bit of a a bit of a strategy that we run. So we wait 24 hours and then after 24 hours, if we're still thinking about it, is that that you're still thinking about it or you still want it after 24 hours, then you can go back and buy it.
00;18;16;16 - 00;18;38;02
Unknown
Or you could buy it online, whatever. At that point, if that what people are like, is that what you're saying? Like to wait and then if you're still thinking about it, is that the person. Yeah. So after, you know, whatever time you've implemented, if, if that time comes around, you still want it, you can afford it. There's no reason why you can't go get it.
00;18;38;02 - 00;19;01;02
Unknown
And that's the thing. It's not for anyone to say what people can and cannot afford. Like it's your money. Everyone has different values as well. So if you see that handbag and you wait your 24 hours and you're like, Actually, no, I really want this if you can. You know, if it's in your budget, if it's one in your budget, that's, you know, for a different time, let's just say it is, you know, then go get it.
00;19;01;02 - 00;19;23;01
Unknown
And you've you know, it's a it's that slow process. It's one it's that one time that's going to build up to teaching your brain a little bit of delayed gratification because we want that instant gratification. We want it now. Whereas, you know, the more times you implement that time rule and teach your brain, the better it's going to be.
00;19;23;01 - 00;19;46;05
Unknown
It's going to strengthen. So eventually you're going to get to the point where that's automatic. So it may not be automatic now, but you'll get to the point where it is automatic most of the time. And yet and, you know, if if you still think about it, go grab it. But a lot of the time we forget about it, like how many times I've been to the shop.
00;19;46;06 - 00;20;04;25
Unknown
Like, I want that and you don't get it for whatever reason. And then, you know, you forget about it. Maybe in a couple of weeks time you're like, Oh, that's wrong. I'm going to get that. Like, glad I didn't. You know, I think about how many times you've been in that position. So, you know, it's not to say that you're going to implement the time rule and then you're going to go get it anyway, which some people may think, Well, I'm as well, grab it now.
00;20;04;27 - 00;20;23;07
Unknown
It's the will. Do you actually really want it that you going to remember about it in 24 hours? You may not and you know if you didn't remember in 24 hours then it probably really wasn't that important. It was more the impulse playing and scarcity freaks people out to like you'd be like, But what if I don't get this bag?
00;20;23;07 - 00;20;45;00
Unknown
Then it will never like, I'll never see it again. But like, the fact is, like, in this day and age, like, there's really not that much scarcity on things. Like you can probably find that somewhere online or, you know, like that scarcity is just is just a panic. Like it's a Oh, okay. So I would love to know a little bit about the ADHD tax.
00;20;45;07 - 00;21;14;01
Unknown
I know I'd love to know for people at home that perhaps don't know what that is, or perhaps they were having a good chuckle to themselves about that. Can you explain to people at home about what that. Yeah, so the ADHD tax is things like we may pay extra for things or we may overspend on, you know, forgotten subscriptions, you know, things that we signed up to for, you know, gym memberships that we never go, but we still pay for month on month.
00;21;14;01 - 00;21;40;09
Unknown
It's just the extra, extra money that we outlay because of our ADHD. With that, things that we forgot about, whether that's things we actually want to spend extra on. And that's a really good point as well. The ADHD tax isn't always bad. So yeah, it's just that extra outlay of money because of our ADHD for whatever reason, like cancellation fees, like, you know, or like fees and those sorts of things.
00;21;40;09 - 00;22;04;11
Unknown
Missed appointment times, like the amount of fit, the amount of times that this comes up in sessions is quite a lot. And people are beating themselves up about it. But it's true what you said. Like if it's something that you value, then it's not a negative. Yeah, and that might be something like, you know, when we go to the grocery store and as the prepackaged chopped up vegetables, they cost more.
00;22;04;13 - 00;22;26;04
Unknown
But if they save you time and it helps your executive functioning, why not? Like that's the things that you've got to do that people need to sort of work through themselves or with the coach or whoever it may be and just sort of think what are their values? Where do they want to save time? That might cost a little bit extra, but if it's valuable enough, then that's okay.
00;22;26;07 - 00;22;47;29
Unknown
The ADHD tax isn't always bad. It's not always bad to spend that little bit of extra money if it's going to help you in some way. Okay. So tell me when someone would reach out to a person like you. So generally, if we're talking sort of, you know, the 1 to 1 money coaching, it's when they are really stuck.
00;22;47;29 - 00;23;08;09
Unknown
Generally, my clients, you know, they they tend to you know I don't most they earn good money not you know everyone's pay is different sorry it's not that you need to earn a lot of money to go see a money coach. It's just that the money that you are earning is not going to where you want it to be.
00;23;08;10 - 00;23;35;07
Unknown
So you don't understand, you know, what your expenses are, something a lot of people don't even know what their subscriptions are, where their money's going. If they want to have some financial goals and they're struggling to understand the steps to get there, or they don't even know how to how to set those goals and or if they're just sort of all over the place, like, I've got this money coming in and then it all goes out.
00;23;35;07 - 00;23;58;09
Unknown
I have no idea where it goes. It just all goes on stuff and then there's none left at the end of the month. Sorry. The other sort of reasons why people might want to come see a money coach, because we're we're also very different to financial advisors as well, which is a very important distinction. Money coaches are not here to tell you, you know, where to invest your money, what's going to be best for it, all that kind of stuff.
00;23;58;15 - 00;24;24;22
Unknown
We're just here to help you understand your money better. Understand where it's going. And if you do have some goals that you want to set the steps to be able to get there and help you get there. Oh, I love this. Now, I saw I was listening to a podcast about money on the weekend and they were talking about how if you audited your spending, like if you looked at your statement that you would see what your values are.
00;24;24;24 - 00;24;51;19
Unknown
But I don't know if that's the case with ADHD. I'm not sure if you could tell. You know, even from like looking at our statements as a family, I'm not sure that you can tell what our values are. So I thought that was an interesting distinction that sometimes advice what you would do for a neurotypical person might not be in line with what's going to work for a person with ADHD or neurodiversity.
00;24;51;19 - 00;25;12;06
Unknown
Would you agree? 100%. And that's you know, that's what I tell a lot of people. I will, you know, always say on my social media that, you know, the typical money advice isn't always great for us. So I tend to say it like take the typical advice and add some neuro spice to it. So, you know, there there is typical advice that is really sound.
00;25;12;06 - 00;25;34;27
Unknown
And, you know, it builds the basics of, you know, money and financial health and things like that. But as you said, you know, going through our bank statements isn't necessarily what we value. A lot of us don't even know what we value and when, especially when we are, you know, playing in the planning into the impulsivity and doing a lot of impulsive spending and mindless spending, it's not going to tell you what your values are.
00;25;34;27 - 00;29;45;17
Unknown
Right. It's, you know, that's kind of that's kind of a little bit separate to, you know, sort of trying to find your values in your spending because, yeah, it's a lot of the time it's just not going to work for an ADHD brain. But a very important point to understand what your money values are. Absolutely. So if you were going to leave our listeners today with a couple of key takeaways or things, perhaps things that they can do, you know, soonish to improve their finances, what would that advice be?
